There she is standing at a cross roads, not ready to move forward and unsure of why she can’t understand her past. She packed her bag again to visit the river, the same feeling she once felt as she packed her bags to lay on the beach. In both places, she contemplates life, her choices, people with out choices, and the right to make a choice. At the river she feels connected to a woman’s shadows, which have cast disabled movement and a conscious understanding. This understanding daily redeems her static book knowledge, yet how does she move cast in stone by the freedom of her past, she begins to wonder if it really was ever freedom. By 8 years old sneaking a razor to shave her legs and trim her eyebrows like the magazines. Tanning booths and fake nails what led her to believe this was important? She led herself there. Was it a choice? Yes, she knew the critiques she knew the risks. How come now she realizes these acts were masking her true femininity. Is there a chance for redemption in her life, and must she wait for the next?
There she is standing at a cross roads, not ready to move forward and unsure of why she can’t understand her past. She packed her bag again to visit the river, the same feeling she once felt as she packed her bags to lay on the beach. In both places, she contemplates life, her choices, people with out choices, and the right to make a choice. This woman that is intriguing her is gone now and she never knew the woman – although – she feels her, she cries over her death – she cries on the spirit of her breast. The breast that took the woman’s life. She thinks about the injustices of bankruptcy and criminal behavior of capitalism, but mostly its the symptoms of greed and disillusion – she shares this with the woman too. What is the woman calling her to do? She feels disillusioned – her family is always with her and yet they keep calling her to come home. The smell of her powder is like her grandmother’s and at that moment she prays to her to guide her through this time.
There she is standing at a cross roads, not ready to move forward and unsure of why she can’t understand her past. She packed her bag again to visit the river, the same feeling she once felt as she packed her bags to lay on the beach. In both places, she contemplates life, her choices, people with out choices, and the right to make a choice. She is always waiting for someone to tell her what to do. She says it is the universe she is waiting on, and it is possible it is the universe waiting on her. While waiting, she works till her brain has gone numb and the only thing holding her up is her heart. In love with all that she sees seeking redemption for the bad and the good, she tries to understand the world is more than black and white. For there are days when she sees the sun and calls it a cloud and sees clouds and calls them the sun. Lost in love for her family she cries to home for others to interpret her weather – their moon is coming out while her sun is coming up. Her only luck is their love.
There she is standing at a cross roads, not ready to move forward and unsure of why she can’t understand her past. She packed her bag again to visit the river, the same feeling she once felt as she packed her bags to lay on the beach. In both places, she contemplates life, her choices, people with out choices, and the right to make a choice.I love you.
